Ripples
by mormonsrock
Summary: Even if one person's life is just a drop in a bucket, every drop makes ripples.


**Ripples**

**Originally by Ayu Sakata**

**Visit this link for the original animated version: **sakevisual . **com/**ripples**.html**

* * *

><p>There's something about people that just rubs me the wrong way.<p>

I think it started in grade school. Our teacher blew up a balloon, wrote "Self-Esteem" on the side, and taped it to the wall. She explained to us that we were all like the balloon. If we didn't have any self-esteem, we would only be limp and small and sad. Everyone else seemed really inspired, but it didn't click very well with me. Watching that balloon on the wall deflate a little bit each day until it withered away… I felt that self-esteem didn't do much other than make people falsely large for a little while.

But no one else seemed to notice. Everyone else kept going along their short little lives, puffed up with their self-esteem, getting smaller and smaller each day.

What I hate the most are those idealistic people who think they can change the world.

Behind all those grand ideas of a better life, I think they're just desperate to be remembered. Desperate to keep their withering balloons filled so they can feel important.

But things never change. No matter how hard you fight, it hardly makes a difference. One person's life is just a drop in a bucket.

A lot of people think I'm a real pessimist because I think this way, but it doesn't bother me at all. It's easier to live life if I don't have to worry about changing the world. That way, I can concentrate on what I want, like my photography. The pictures I take will last a lot longer than I ever will. Not like it matters.

All I ever photograph is nature. Things that will be the same until the end of time. I hate photographing people. I hate people who leap into my view and prance around and wave their arms, desperate to be captured on film so they'll be remembered. There's no way I'll ever capture such worthless things on film. When people die, they're gone, and that's fine with me.

**Monday**

The city I live in isn't very large, but there are so many places hidden away that I always find something new whenever I , it's a small park tucked away between a row of trees and an old school building. There doesn't seem to be much here worth photographing, but at least there aren't any people here either.

I aim my camera at a nearby bush to check the lighting. It's late afternoon, but the sun is still high enough for me to get some decent shots. Suddenly, I hear this rustling noise coming from a nearby bush.

What's that sound?

Something behind the bush is moving. I creep forward, holding my camera in front of me as if it would actually provide a decent shield, should something leap out at me.

...Considering how much this camera cost, I'd probably be better off if I took the hit.

I slowly continue forward until I see something unexpected. I catch a glimpse of crouched figure in a school uniform, facing the bush. It's a girl. What's she doing here?

Is she… crying?

I take an uncertain step back. If some girl is using this place as her secret crying spot, I want no part of it. But the sound of crying sounds more like… cats.

The girl suddenly turns around and looks up at me calmly, and I realize that she's patting a small kitten on the head.

"Oh, hello," she says in a rather friendly tone.

Two more kittens are rolling around with each other on the ground beside her. They must be the source of the crying I heard.

"Uh… hey." I say a bit awkwardly. "Sorry to bother you. I'm just gonna… go."

"You're not a bother," she says as she smiles softly. "Stay."

The kitten that she's patting yawns lazily and paws at her hand.

"Oh, here you go," she says to the kittens as she pulls out a cookie and holds it over a kitten's mouth. It reaches up  
>and bats at the cookie with its paw before clamping the cookie firmly between its tiny teeth.<p>

"What are you feeding them?" I ask while watching all of this.

She stands up and I can get a better look at her. She has beautiful reddish-golden hair and sparkling blue eyes.

"Cookies," she says with a shy smile. "I baked them myself this morning."

"Sure seems like a waste to give that to a bunch of cats," I comment.

Her smile grows wider as she says, "No, it's worth it."

I look over to the cats on the grass. "They're just gonna die anyway, you know. Strays rarely live long on the streets."

"So?" She asks with an innocent tone in her voice.

"So why bother feeding them?" I ask back.

"They're hungry," she says, as if the answer is obvious. "Do I need anymore reason than that?"

"I guess not. But why cookies?" Why would she waste so much on a bunch of strays?

She suddenly looks down and says sheepishly, "Because they're the only ones who will eat it…"

"What?"

"I'm sorry. I have to be home soon," she says quickly. She gives the kitten in her arms a fond pat on the head before leaving.

She didn't even say goodbye to me. I'm not sure whether or not I should be offended, but I guess it doesn't really matter.

The kittens swarm around my feet, and I kneel down to take a few pictures of them.

Ah… but it's already getting too dark to take any decent shots. At least, not with this camera. I guess I won't be taking many pictures today after all.

**Tuesday**

I returned to the park today. I don't know why I came back here. I keep telling myself it's just for photography, since I didn't get any good shots yesterday, but… I'm pretty sure I'm just lying to myself.

I walk through the park, when all of a sudden the girl from yesterday appears out of nowhere.

"Ah, you came back," the girl smiles as she walks up to me.

"I just wanted to take a couple pictures," I reply nonchalantly.

"I'll get out of the way, then," she says as she walks over to the kittens by the bush.

I snap a few half-hearted shots, but I keep glancing at her and all the kittens swarming around her.

"What are you feeding them today?" I finally ask.

The girl pauses for a moment to think. "Hm… I guess you could call them donuts."

"Did you make those too?" I ask, although I'm pretty sure I already know the answer.

She smiles widely. "Sure did. This morning before school," she proudly states. "I had to get up early to make them."

"Why?" Sure seems like a lot of work.

"Well, the dough needs time to rise properly, you see."

"That's not what I meant," I say expectantly.

"Oh?" she says, looking genuinely puzzled. "Then what?"

"Why work so hard just to make food for a bunch of cats?" I ask, slightly exasperated.

"I told you," she says as her smile widens even more, "It's because they eat it."

I don't respond. She sure smiles a lot.

She continues, "I've always loved baking, you know. The best thing about it is being able to share with others."

"There was a point in time when I wanted to own my own bakery," she says as she closes her eyes, as if remembering a fond memory.

"So?" I ask, sensing a long story on its way.

"Last year, for a class project, I baked muffins for the entire class." Her eyes still closed, a faint smile on her lips. "I woke up early so they'd be fresh, and I filled them with the best ingredients I could afford. I wanted them to be something special. Except, no one liked them." She opens her eyes, but suddenly looks down at her shoes. "A lot of girls wouldn't even try them, claiming they had strict diets. I was so happy when some boys took a couple, but then they just threw them at each other." She still stares down at her shoes, but her smile is fading. "I even gave some to the teachers, who seemed to appreciate it. But at the end of the day, I found them in the trash."

"Well, yeah," I state the obvious, "people never appreciate things they're supposed to. Working so hard for them is a waste of time."

"Maybe…" She looks up at me. "After school, I came here. I wanted to cry, but these little guys came and cheered me up." She looks over at the kittens with a warm smile. "I fed them the rest of the muffins, and they ate them without hesitation." She walks over and picks one up, cuddling it in her arms. "Ever since then, I've brought them something every day. As a way of saying thanks."

"Thanks for what?"

She giggles, "For being happy when they eat my food."

I remain silent. I'm confused.

"What I like more than anything else is seeing people smile when they eat what I bake." She smiles fondly at the kitten in her arms. "I want to cheer people up and make the world a better place."

"That's stupid," I finally say after a while.

"Stupid?" She looks slightly irritated now.

"Cheering people up is pointless. They'll just get depressed again anyway. And then they die." It's true.

"Do you really think that?" She _really_ looks irritated now.

"Uh, yeah." I state very matter-of-factly.

"I see," she says disinterestedly as she gently returns the kitten to the ground. "That's awfully nihilistic of you."

Great. Now she'll try to 'cheer me up'. "Don't tell me you're going to go all philosophy on me."

"No," she says lightly. "Well, I have to get going. I'll see you tomorrow."

"What?"

Her smile returns. "My name is Kuu. And you are?"

"… Koda." Why is this stranger being so friendly?

"Then I'll see you tomorrow, Koda." She smiles as she starts to walk away.

"Don't count on it," I call after her.

She turns around to look at me. "Of course," she chuckles.

She smiles fondly at me and leaves. Again, the kittens turn their attention to me, but I don't bother to take any pictures of them. This place is so boring, and it's much too dark, anyway. Even though I didn't get many shots today, I don't think I'll be coming back here.

**Wednesday**

And yet... somehow... I found myself back in the same place again today.

Kuu greets me with a smile. "Hello, Koda." I don't respond.

"You're only here to take pictures, right?" She chuckles.

"Yeah," I respond a little awkwardly. "The ones I developed yesterday weren't very good."

"You develop your photos?" She sounds genuinely surprised. For some reason, I feel a little victorious.

"Digital is too easy," I explain. "There's no fun in it anymore. Makes you sloppy, too, since you can afford to make mistakes."

"I see. This is for you." She hands me a small plastic bag tied with a ribbon.

"What is it?" I ask. If it's what I think it is...

"Cookies," she says with a smile. "You want some, right?"

"What makes you think that?" I ask.

"You came back, didn't you?" She says as she winks at me.

With a sigh, I open the package. I'm greeted with the sweet smell of cinnamon and chocolate. I take a bite of a cookie. It's actually quite good. For a moment, I wonder why anyone would even think to dislike this girl's cooking. But I guess that's just the nature of people.

"I'm sorry," she says sadly as she stares down at her shoes.

"What?"

She continues to stare at the ground. "You're not smiling," she says disappointedly. "It must not be very good."

"That's not it," I assured her. "I'm just a bit angry that people don't appreciate your baking."

"You shouldn't be." She says as her usual smile returns. "If you think it tastes good, then smile!"

"Why are you trying so hard to get me to smile?" I ask exasperatedly.

"You don't look like a happy person," she says as if it's nothing.

Her honesty is like an arrow to my heart.

"That's really none of your business," I say, slightly irritated.

"It is if you keep coming here to see me," she grins.

"I didn't say I was coming here to see you." I sigh, exasperated.

"You didn't have to," she counters with a chuckle.

"Besides, it doesn't matter. I'll just be depressed again tomorrow, anyway," I point out.

"Then I'll bring you more cookies tomorrow." She says matter-of-factly.

"Do you really want to see me smile that badly?" Why does she care so much about my smile?

"I want to see everyone smile," she giggles.

"Huh." Like that's gonna happen. "This is why I hate people so much."

"You don't like people?" She sounds a bit sad.

"Of course not," I say frustratedly. "They always ruin things,"

"How so?" Now she sounds concerned.

"The leap into pictures when I don't want them to, or obsess over how they look as if it really makes a difference. I can't stand it! They're all so annoying!" The words pour out of my mouth without me really thinking them.

"Am I annoying?" She looks down, her smile gone.

"Uh..." Optimists like Kuu have always aggravated me, but there's something about her straightforward honesty that's actually really refreshing.

"I don't know," I reply after some time.

She giggles and turns back to the kittens, patting one of them fondly on the head.

"Fair enough," she says with with a smile.

"It's not that you're annoying or anything. It's just..." I strain my mind, trying to figure out how to explain my feelings.

"I just don't like people who think they can change the world." There. I said it.

"Why not?" She asks.

"Because it's dumb!" I unintentionally shouted. "One person's life is just a drop in the bucket, after all."

"You don't really believe that," she says matter-of-factly.

"Yes I do!" Didn't I just say it? "It's better than believing that I actually change anything!"

She looks me in the eye and says seriously, "Then why are you here?"

"Wh-what?" What does she mean by that?

"You want to believe, but you're just afraid to. You're afraid that you can't make a difference, so you don't try." Her face is dead serious now, her smile gone.

"That's not..." I can't actually bring myself to deny her statement.

"Koda..." She smiles softly at me.

"Yeah?" I respond defeatedly.

"Even if my life is just a single drop, every drop of water leaves ripples." She leaves before I can respond. I don't have a response, anyway.

Normally, I'd be angry if someone tried to sell some trite inspirational phrase to me. But this is different. She's not trying to sell me anything. It's really what she believes. Kuu is so cheerful and confident, but there's nothing about her that's desperate or puffed up. She believes that she can change the world with nothing more that cookies and a smile. Honestly... I don't know if she can or not... But I do know that she managed to change me.

The sun is setting, and as I raise my camera to photograph it, I can't help but wonder what she'll bring me tomorrow. Maybe I should bring something for her. Maybe I'll ask if I can take her picture.

* * *

><p><strong>Thanks for reading!<strong>


End file.
